By nature, I am a very high stress, anxiety laden individual. I do not do well under stress. It takes over my body and I crumple - my mind stops working and I don't function very well. Kind of an unfortunate feature of being me!
Since the beginning of this whole situation, we've been under a tremendous amount of stress. The event that started us down this path was our decision to try to buy the house across the street. And that in itself was SO stressful, as anyone who has ever bought a house knows. Then when we didn't get that house and we already had new renters moving into our current house, that was crazy stressful! And it all kind of snowballed from there.
The good news is that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. And when I was baptized a member of this church, I also received the gift of the Holy Ghost. If I am living in accordance to the laws of the gospel, I have a right to the help of the Holy Ghost/Spirit of God in times of need. And that is how I have found my center throughout this experience. There is no other way to explain the times of calm and faith and hope (given my nature). I often lose that center, but I can find it again and again and without that I would not be able to survive.
I know that it is through the Atonement of Jesus Christ that I am able to have the help I need. The Atonement can help to lift our burdens through the Spirit, if we choose to allow it. In Mosiah 24, verse 14 (in the Book of Mormon) it reads, "And I will also ease the burdens
which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon
your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye
may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions." The first time I truly experienced this lifting of burdens was the week we moved out of the house. I had gone to the temple the weekend before and I had a strong feeling that everything would be fine and that we would end up in the place where we were supposed to be. That assurance gave me SO much strength. I was able to make it through a really tough week, without feeling the burden that was being placed on me. I know for certain that I was receiving strength that week. There is no other explanation.
So throughout this experience we have had a lot of ups and downs. But I know that the ups are because we are willing to come unto Christ and we can find hope and strength through him. How grateful I am for that.
These last few weeks have been particularly hard for both Adam and I. But last night we spent some time at the temple and we were both strengthened and renewed in our faith. We have been so very blessed in this journey and I bare you my witness that it has been through the Grace of God.
So grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and for the help that I can receive because of it.