Sunday, April 28, 2013

Finding my center

By nature, I am a very high stress, anxiety laden individual.  I do not do well under stress.  It takes over my body and I crumple - my mind stops working and I don't function very well.  Kind of an unfortunate feature of being me!
Since the beginning of this whole situation, we've been under a tremendous amount of stress.  The event that started us down this path was our decision to try to buy the house across the street.  And that in itself was SO stressful, as anyone who has ever bought a house knows.  Then when we didn't get that house and we already had new renters moving into our current house, that was crazy stressful!  And it all kind of snowballed from there. 
The good news is that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  And when I was baptized a member of this church, I also received the gift of the Holy Ghost.  If I am living in accordance to the laws of the gospel, I have a right to the help of the Holy Ghost/Spirit of God in times of need.  And that is how I have found my center throughout this experience. There is no other way to explain the times of calm and faith and hope (given my nature).   I often lose that center, but I can find it again and again and without that I would not be able to survive.  
I know that it is through the Atonement of Jesus Christ that I am able to have the help I need.  The Atonement can help to lift our burdens through the Spirit, if we choose to allow it.   In Mosiah 24, verse 14 (in the Book of Mormon) it reads, "And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions."   The first time I truly experienced this lifting of burdens was the week we moved out of the house.  I had gone to the temple the weekend before and I had a strong feeling that everything would be fine and that we would end up in the place where we were supposed to be.  That assurance gave me SO much strength.  I was able to make it through a really tough week, without feeling the burden that was being placed on me.  I know for certain that I was receiving strength that week.  There is no other explanation.
So throughout this experience we have had a lot of ups and downs.  But I know that the ups are because we are willing to come unto Christ and we can find hope and strength through him.  How grateful I am for that.
These last few weeks have been particularly hard for both Adam and I.  But last night we spent some time at the temple and we were both strengthened and renewed in our faith.  We have been so very blessed in this journey and I bare you my witness that it has been through the Grace of God.
So grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and for the help that I can receive because of it.      

Friday, April 26, 2013

I need an oulet

I have so much in my head that just goes around in circles and festers.  There are many frustrations and stresses and just plain stuff to deal with right now.  So I thought that maybe I could blog about it to at least give it somewhere to go.
There is a lot of history here that explains our current situation, but I think I'll talk about different parts of the story as I go.
Today I have 2 sick babies - Sam and George.  They both have bad colds.  Poor little Georgie can barely breath from such a stuffed up nose.  And Sam.  Oh, Sam.  He is not a good sick patient.  He gets SO fussy when he's sick.   He already has fussiness issues and so it's REALLY hard when he gets sick.  This morning he screamed and screamed at 6:30 in the morning and woke Sarah up (we live with Sarah and her family) after she had planned to sleep in today (sorry, Sarah!!).
Sam tends to get ear infections easily and so I am taking him into the doc at noon to see if he has one this time.  MUST GET HIM BETTER!
I also decided to make him an appointment with Dr. Jerry Duggar - a holistic chiropractor in Bountiful.  I am getting desperate to figure out how to help him to be a happier child.  He has eczema all over his body and he is ALWAYS fussy.  I've listened to similar experiences with friend's kids and I am starting to believe that he has something going on inside of him that we can help with.  We just need to find what it is.  Dr. Duggar says that eczema is almost always associated with gut issues.  I think that he might be able to help us figure this out.  But I will make the appointment Monday since they are out of the office today.  
And George is having neck issues.  He needs a little bit of help from a physical therapist, but the first available appointment is June 3rd, so I made the appointment and then we'll be on a cancellation list until then.  Hopefully we can get in sooner.
These are just a few medical issues, I guess.  But there is so much more to talk about and so I will plan to do other posts.  What could I have to talk about, you ask?  So much, I tell you!  Here is a brief overview: We are completely exhausted in every way, we have a new baby and we're trying to adjust to 5 children, we are looking for a job, we're living in someone else's home, we haven't been in a home of our own in 5 months, and all of our belongings are in storage.  So you see - I'm just getting started.

Update - Sam does have an ear infection.  Mommy senses, I tell you.